i hate myself

好累，我讨厌生活。。 我更讨厌自己。。 为什么我那么笨? 如果我聪明一点，就可以省略掉很多时间。。

we just argued. ya. tmr i hv chem test, but i don't think i can study for it already.
i just broke down.
i don't know what happened.
i just feel that they don't know me well.
they simply just cant understand from my side.

Ya, I'm stupid.
I am not tough.
I am just nth in this world.
I don't know a lots of things.
I don't know how to cope life.
I don't know how to solve my problems.

Since when i become so weak?
My body is weak
my memory is bad
my understanding of things also bad
my decision making also bad
i dunno why i am still alive?
i din even know why am i here in this world in the first place?
a person like me why am i still here?
i cannot understand!
my beloved friend who wanted to live so hard, u just take away his life!
and the person like me, who cannot even contribute anything to this world..
only can contribute her stupidness are here!

i hate myself..